Forgiveness
It seems like the older I get, the less I care about certain things. I get less anxious about things out of my control, and I have let go of past burdens. One of my major flaws was and still is not being able to live in the present moment. I still look towards the future, I need to plan after all, but I don’t look back at the past anymore. And If I do look back, the looking is usually accompanied by happy feelings. I recently realized that I have forgiven everyone that I felt wronged by in middle school. I had mentally forgiven them a long time ago, but I still held a grudge in my heart. However, now, I find it rather silly to hold a grudge against them. After all, people change, especially during adolescence. When I was 13, I wasn’t a crappy person, but I am a much better person now. Not better in terms of morals, better in terms of quality. This growth is natural, of course, because experience brings wisdom. A lot of the things I did when I was younger was a result of:Caring too much about what others thought of me
Being too young to understand the right way to handle a situation
So if I have changed a lot, then I know my old classmates have as well. The people I was angry at don’t really exist anymore. The nice part about forgiving people is how you feel after you do it. You feel lighter, and you don’t feel defined or shaped by other people. You also feel affection. After you let go of negative feelings toward someone, you’re left with positive (or neutral) ones. My newly positive attitude toward my ex-classmates is what made me realize that I forgave them. I am genuinely happy that they are doing well, and there are no “buts” about it. I think the time has given me perspective. It has also boosted my self-esteem. I really didn’t like myself when I was younger. The funny thing is, though, I never tried to change my personality. I just lived in contempt for myself. But now, I like who I am as a person, inside and out. I think that my boost in self-esteem is a reason why I forgive my peers. I simply no longer care about their opinions. Since I don’t care about what they think of me, I am no longer hurt by my past. You know that saying, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else? I think it has some truth in it.